Harry sprinted up to the boys' dormitories to fetch the Invisibility Cloak and the Marauder's Map from his trunk; he was so quick that he and Ron were ready to leave at least five minutes before Hermione hurried back down from the girls' dormitories, wearing scarf, gloves and one of her own knobbly elf hats.

"Well, it's cold out there!" she said defensively, as Ron clicked his tongue impatiently.

They crept through the portrait hole and covered themselves hastily in the Cloak -- Ron had grown so much he now needed to crouch to prevent his feet showing -- then, moving slowly and cautiously, they proceeded down the many staircases, pausing at intervals to check on the map for signs of Filch or Mrs. Morris. They were lucky; they saw nobody but Nearly Headless Nick, who was gliding along absent-mindedly humming something that sounded horribly like "Weasley is our King'. They crept across the Entrance Hall and out into the silent, snowy grounds. With a great leap of his heart, Harry saw little golden squares of light ahead and smoke coiling up from Hagrid's chimney. He set off at a quick march, the other two jostling and bumping along behind him. They crunched excitedly through the thickening snow until at last they reached the wooden front door. When Harry raised his fist and knocked three times, a dog started barking frantically inside.

"Hagrid, it's us!" Harry called through the keyhole.

"Shoulda known!" said a gruff voice.

Hermione screamed.

They beamed at each other under the Cloak; they could tell by Hagrid's voice that he was pleased. "Bin home three seconds… out the way, Fang… out the way, yeh dozy dog…"

"Merlin's beard, keep it down!" said Hagrid hastily, staring wildly over their heads. "Under that Cloak, are yeh? Well, get in, get in!"

The bolt was drawn back, the door creaked open and Hagrid's head appeared in the gap.

Hagrid's hair was matted with congealed blood and his left eye had been reduced to a puffy slit amid a mass of purple and black bruising. There were many cuts on his face and hands, some of them still bleeding, and he was moving gingerly, which made Harry suspect broken ribs. It was obvious that he had only just got home: a thick black travelling cloak lay over the back of a chair and a haversack large enough to carry several small children leaned against the wall inside the door. Hagrid himself, twice the size of a normal man, was now limping over to the fire and placing a copper kettle over it.

"I'm sorry!" Hermione gasped, as the three of them squeezed past Hagrid into the house and pulled the Cloak off themselves so he could see them. "I just -- oh, Hagrid!"

"It's nuthing, it's nuthing!" said Hagrid hastily, shutting the door behind them and hurrying to close all the curtains, but Hermione continued to gaze up at him in horror.

"I'm telling yeh, I'm fine," said Hagrid, straightening up and turning to beam at them all, but wincing. "Blimey, it's good ter see yeh three again -- had good summers, did yeh?"

"Hagrid, you've been attacked!" said Ron.

"What happened to you?" Harry demanded, while Fang danced around them all, trying to lick their faces.

He walked across to the enormous wooden table that stood in the middle of his cabin and twitched aside a tea towel that had been lying on it. Underneath was a raw, bloody, green-tinged steak slightly larger than the average car tyre.

"Would you say it was nothing if one of us turned up with a pound of mince instead of a face?" Ron demanded.

"I'm dealing with it, all righ?" said Hagrid repressively.

"You're not going to eat that, are you, Hagrid?" said Ron, leaning in for a closer look. "It looks poisonous."

"You ought to go and see Madam Pomfrey, Hagrid," said Hermione anxiously, "some of those cuts look nasty."

"Told yeh, nuthing," said Hagrid firmly. "Want a cuppa?"

"Fer the las" time, it's nuthing!" said Hagrid firmly.

"Come off it," said Ron, "you're in a right state!"

"So, are you going to tell us what's happened to you?" Harry asked.

"Tha's better. It helps with the stinging, yeh know."

"Can't, Harry. Top secret. More'n me job's worth ter tell yeh that."

"Did the giants beat you up, Hagrid?" asked Hermione quietly.

Hagrid's fingers slipped on the dragon steak and it slid squelchily on to his chest.

"We guessed," said Hermione apologetically.

"It's s'posed ter look like that, it's dragon meat," Hagrid said. "And I didn't get it ter eat."

"Oh, yeh did, did yeh?" said Hagrid, surveying her sternly with the eye that was not hidden by the steak.

"Giants?" said Hagrid, catching the steak before it reached his belt and slapping it back over his face, "who said anything abou" giants? Who yeh bin talking to? Who's told yeh what I've -- who's said I've bin -- eh?"

"It was kind of… obvious," said Ron. Harry nodded.

He picked up the steak and slapped it over the left side of his face. Greenish blood trickled down into his beard as he gave a soft moan of satisfaction.

Hagrid glared at them, then snorted, threw the steak back on to the table and strode over to the kettle, which was now whistling. "Never known kids like you three fer knowing more'n yeh oughta," he muttered, splashing boiling water into three of his bucket-shaped mugs. "And I'm not complimenting yeh, neither. Nosy, some'd call it. Interfering."

"Yeah, all righ'," he grunted, "I have."

"And you found them?" said Hermione in a hushed voice.

Hagrid choked in his mug and dropped his steak at the same time; a large quantity of spit, tea and dragon blood was sprayed over the table as Hagrid coughed and spluttered and the steak slid, with a soft splat, on to the floor.

He adjusted the steak a little so that it covered the worst of the bruising.

"Well, they're not that difficult ter find, ter be honest, said Hagrid. "Pretty big, see."

"So you have been to look for giants?" said Harry, grinning as he sat down at the table.

Hagrid set tea in front of each of them, sat down, picked up his steak again and slapped it back over his face.

"Where are they?" said Ron.

But his beard twitched.

"Mountains," said Hagrid unhelpfully.

"They do," said Hagrid darkly. "On'y their deaths are always put down ter mountaineering accidents, aren't they?"

"Come on, Hagrid, tell us what you've been up to!" said Ron. "Tell us about being attacked by the giants and Harry can tell you about being attacked by the dementors --"

"So why don't Muggles --?"

"You were expelled!"

"Yeah, I am, they turned up in Little Whinging and attacked my cousin and me, and then the Ministry of Magic expelled me --"

"Oh, Hagrid, don't, it's not hygien --" Hermione began, but Hagrid had already slapped the meat back over his swollen eye.

"Didn't you know?" Hermione asked him, wide-eyed.

Hagrid glared at him through his one open eye. Harry looked right back, an expression of innocent determination on his face.

"I don't know any thing that's bin happening since I left. I was on a secret mission, wasn't I, didn't want owls following me all over the place -- ruddy dementors! Yeh're not serious?"

He bent down and tugged the dragon steak out of Fang's mouth.

He took another fortifying gulp of tea, then said, "Well, we set off righ" after term ended --"

"WHAT?"

"Tell us about your summer and I'll tell you about mine."

"Oh, all righ'," Hagrid said in a resigned voice.

"-- and I had to go to a hearing and everything, but tell us about the giants first."

"Whadda yeh mean, attacked by dementors?" growled Hagrid.

"Madame Maxime went with you, then?" Hermione interjected.

"You knew where you were going?" Harry repeated. "You knew where the giants were?"

"Yeah, tha's righ'," said Hagrid, and a softened expression appeared on the few inches of face that were not obscured by beard or green steak. "Yeah, it was just the pair of us. and I'll tell yeh this, she's not afraid of roughing it, Olympe. Yeh know, she's a fine, well-dressed woman, and knowing where we was going I wondered "ow she'd feel abou" clambering over boulders and sleeping in caves and tha', bu" she never complained once."

"Are they hidden?" asked Ron. "Is it a secret, where they are?"

"Well, Durnbledore knew, and he told us," said Hagrid.

"Not really," said Hagrid, shaking his shaggy head. "It's just that mos' wizards aren't bothered where they are, 's'long as it's a good long way away. But where they are's very difficult ter get ter, fer humans anyway, so we needed Dumbledore's instructions. Took us abou" a month ter get there --"

"A month?" said Ron, as though he had never heard of a journey lasting such a ridiculously long time. "But -- why couldn't you just grab a Portkey or something?"

"What d'you mean?"

There was an odd expression in Hagrid's unobscured eye as he surveyed Ron; it was almost pitying.

"We know about that," said Harry quickly, keen to hear the rest of Hagrid's story, "we know about the Ministry watching Dumbledore --"

"So you couldn't use magic to get there?" asked Ron, looking thunderstruck, "you had to act like Muggles all the way?"

"We're being watched, Ron," he said gruffly.

"Yeh don't understand," said Hagrid. "The Ministry's keeping an eye on Dumbledore and anyone they reckon's in league with "im, an'--"

Ron made a stifled noise somewhere between a snort and a sniff and hastily took a gulp of tea.

"-- so we're not hard ter follow. We was pretending we was going on holiday together, so we got inter France and we made like we was heading fer where Olympe's school is, 'cause we knew we was being tailed by someone from the Ministry. We had to go slow, 'cause I'm not really s'posed ter use magic and we knew the Ministry'd be looking fer a reason ter run us in. But we managed ter give the berk tailing us the slip round abou" Dee-John --"

"Well, not exactly all the way," said Hagrid cagily. "We just had ter be careful, 'cause Olympe and me, we stick out a bit --"

"We chanced a bit of magic after that and it wasn't a bad journey. Ran inter a couple of mad trolls on the Polish border and I had a slight disagreement with a vampire in a pub in Minsk, bu" apart from that couldn't a bin smoother.

"Ooooh, Dijon?" said Hermione excitedly. "I've been there on holiday, did you see --?"

"We had ter lay off the magic once we got near him. Partly 'cause they don't like wizards and we didn't want ter put their backs up too soon, and partly 'cause Dumbledore had warned us You-Know-Who was bound ter be after the giants and all. Said it was odds on he'd sent a messenger off ter them already. Told us ter be very careful of drawing attention ter ourselves as we got nearer in case there was Death Eaters around."

She fell silent at the look on Ron's face.

"Go on!" said Harry urgently.

Hagrid paused for a long draught of tea.

"Found him," said Hagrid baldly. "Went over a ridge one nigh" and there they was, spread out underneath us. Little fires burning below and huge shadows… it was like watching bits of the mountain moving."

"And then we reached the place, and we started trekking up through the mountains, looking fer signs of him…

"How big are they?" asked Ron in a hushed voice.

'Bout twenty feet," said Hagrid casually. "Some of the bigger ones mighta bin twenty-five."

"I reckon abou" seventy or eighty," said Hagrid.

"Yep," said Hagrid sadly, "eighty left, and there was loads once, musta bin a hundred diff'rent tribes from all over the world. Bu" they've bin dying out fer ages. Wizards killed a few, of course, bu" mostly they killed each other, and now they're dying out faster than ever. They're not made ter live bunched up together like tha'. Dumbledore says it's our fault, it was the wizards who forced him to go and made him live a good long way from us and they had no choice bu" ter stick together fer their own protection."

"So," said Harry, "you saw them and then what?"

"Well, we waited till morning, didn't want ter go sneaking up on him in the dark, fer our own safety," said Hagrid. " 'Bout three in the morning they fell asleep just where they was sitting. We didn't dare sleep. Fer one thing, we wanted ter make sure none of him woke up and came up where we were, and fer another, the snoring was unbelievable. Caused an avalanche near morning.

"Is that all?" said Hermione.

"And how many were there?" asked Harry.

"Anyway once it was light we went down ter see him."

"Just like that?" said Ron, looking awestruck. "You just walked right into a giant camp?"

"Oh, the Gurg -- means the chief."

"Give the what gifts?" asked Harry.

"Well, Dumbledore'd told us how ter do it," said Hagrid. "Give the Gurg gifts, show some respect, yeh know."

Hagrid grunted in amusement.

"No problem," he said. "He was the biggest, the ugliest and the laziest. Sitting there waiting ter be brought food by the others. Dead goats and such like. Name of Karkus. I'd put him at twenty-two, twenty-three feet and the weight of a couple of bull elephants. Skin like rhino hide and all."

"Well… down ter him, where he was lying in the valley. They was in this dip between four pretty high mountains, see, beside a mountain lake, and Karkus was lying by the lake roaring at the others ter feed him and his wife. Olympe and I went down the mountainside --"

"How could you tell which one was the Gurg?" asked Ron.

"And you just walked up to him?" said Hermione breathlessly.

"Nah, he can get food all righ" fer himself," said Hagrid. "We took him magic. Giants like magic, just don't like us using it against him. Anyway, that firs' day we gave "im a branch of Gubraithian fire."

"But didn't they try and kill you when they saw you?" asked Ron incredulously.

"It was def'nitely on some of their minds," said Hagrid, shrugging, "but we did what Dumbledore told us ter do, which was ter hold our gift up high and keep our eyes on the Gurg and ignore the others. So tha's what we did. and the rest of him went quiet and watched us pass and we got right up ter Karkuss leet an we bowed and put our present down in front of him."

"A branch of --?"

"What do you give a giant?" asked Ron eagerly. "Food?"

Hermione said, "Wow!" softly, but Harry and Ron both frowned in puzzlement.

"Everlasting fire," said Hermione irritably, "you ought to know that by now. Professor Flitwick's mentioned it at least twice in class!"

"Well, anyway," said Hagrid quickly, intervening before Ron could answer back, "Dumbledore'd bewitched this branch to burn fer evermore, which isn't something any wizard could do, and so I lies it down in the snow by Karkuss feet and says, 'A gift to the Gurg of the giants from Albus Dumbledore, who sends his respectful greetings.'"

"Nothing," said Hagrid. "Didn't speak English."

"And what did Karkus say?" asked Harry eagerly.

"And did he like the present?" asked Ron.

"Oh yeah, it went down a storm once they understood what it was," said Hagrid, turning his dragon steak over to press the cooler side to his swollen eye. "Very pleased. So then I said, 'Albus Dumbledore asks the Gurg to speak with his messenger when he returns tomorrow with another gift."

"You're kidding!"

"Didn't matter," said Hagrid imperturbably, "Dumbledore had warned us tha" migh" happen. Karkus knew enough to yell fer a couple of giants who knew our lingo and they translated fer us."

"Why couldn't you speak to them that day?" asked Hermione.

"Dumbledore wanted us ter take it very slow," said Hagrid. "Let him see we kept our promises. We'll come back tomorrow with another present, and then we do come back with another present -- gives a good impression, see? and gives them time ter test out the firs' present and fnd out it's a good one, and get him eager fer more. In any case, giants like Karkus -- overload him with information and they'll kill yeh just to simplify things. So we bowed outta the way and went off and found ourselves a nice little cave ter spend that night in and the following morning we went back and this time we found Karkus sitting up waiting fer us looking all eager."

"Oh yeah. Firs' we presented him with a nice battle helmet -- goblin-made and indestructible, yeh know -- and then we sat down and we talked."

"And you talked to him?"

"Not much," said Hagrid. "Listened mostly. Bu" there were good signs. He'd heard of Dumbledore, heard he'd argued against the killing of the last giants in Britain. Karkus seemed ter be quite int'rested in what Dumbledore had ter say. and a few of the others, 'specially the ones who had some English, they gathered round and listened too. We were hopeful when we left that day. Promised ter come back next morning with another present.

"What did he say?"

"Bu" that night it all went wrong."

"What d'you mean?" said Ron quickly.

"Well, like I say, they're not meant ter live together, giants," said Hagrid sadly. "Not in big groups like that. They can't help themselves, they half kill each other every few weeks. The men fight each other and the women fight each other; the remnants of the old tribes fight each other, and that's even without squabbles over food and the best fires and sleeping spots. Yeh'd think, seeing as how their whole race is abou" finished, they'd lay off each other, bu"…"

"That night a fight broke out, we saw it from the mouth of our cave, looking down on the valley. Went on fer hours, yeh wouldn't believe the noise. and when the sun came up the snow was scarlet and his head was lying at the bottom of the lake."

"Whose head?" gasped Hermione.

"Karkus's," said Hagrid heavily. "There was a new Gurg, Golgomath." He sighed deeply. "Well, we hadn't bargained on a new Gurg two days after we'd made friendly contact with the firs' one, and we had a funny feeling Golgomath wouldn't be so keen ter listen to us, bu" we had ter try."

Hagrid sighed deeply.

"You went to speak to him?" asked Ron incredulously. "After you'd watched him rip off another giant's head?"

"Course we did," said Hagrid, "we hadn't gone all that way ter give up after two days! We went down with the next present we'd meant ter give ter Karkus.

"I knew it was no go before I'd opened me mouth. He was sitting there wearing Karkus's helmet, leering at us as we got nearer. He's massive, one of the biggest ones there. Black hair and matching teeth and a necklace of bones. Human-looking bones, some of him. Well, I gave it a go -- held out a great roll of dragon skin -- and said, "A gift fer the Gurg of the giants --'" Nex" thing I knew, I was hanging upside-down in the air by me feet, two of his mates had grabbed me."

"Wouldn'ta done if Olympe hadn't bin there," said Hagrid. "She pulled out her wand and did some of the fastes" spellwork I've ever seen. Ruddy marvellous. Hit the two holding me right in the eyes with Conjunctivitus Curses and they dropped me straightaway --'bu" we were in trouble then, 'cause we'd used magic against him, and that's what giants hate abou" wizards. We had ter leg it and we knew there was no way we was going ter be able ter march inter the camp again."

"Blimey, Hagrid," said Ron quietly.

"So, how come it's taken you so long to get home if you were only there for three days?" asked Hermione.

"How did you get out of that?" asked Harry.

Hermione clapped her hands to her mouth.

"We didn't leave after three days!" said Hagrid, looking outraged. "Dumbledore was relying on us!"

"Not by daylight we couldn', no. We just had ter rethink a bit. Spent a couple of days lying low up in the cave and watching. and wha" we saw wasn't good."

"But you've just said there was no way you could go back!"

"Did he rip off more heads?" asked Hermione, sounding squeamish.

"Because I recognised one of him," Hagrid growled. "Macnair, remember him? Bloke they sent ter kill Buckbeak? Maniac, he is. Likes killing as much as Golgomath; no wonder they were getting on so well."

"I mean we soon found out he didn't object ter all wizards --'just us."

"No," said Hagrid, "I wish he had."

"Death Eaters?" said Harry quickly.

"So Macnair's persuaded the giants to join You-Know-Who?" said Hermione desperately.

"What d'you mean?"

"How d'you know they were Death Eaters?" said Ron.

"Yep," said Hagrid darkly. "Couple oi him were visiting him ev'ry day, bringing gifts ter the Gurg, and he wasn't dangling them upside-down."

"Hold yer hippogriffs, I haven't finished me story yet!" said Hagrid indignantly, who, considering he had not wanted to tell them anything in the first place, now seemed to be rather enjoying himself. "Me and Olympe talked it over and we agreed, just 'cause the Gurg looked like favouring You-Know-Who didn't mean all of him would. We had ter try and persuade some of the others, the ones who hadn't wanted Golgomath as Gurg."

"Well, they were the ones being beaten to a pulp, weren't they?" said Hagrid patiently. "The ones with any sense were keeping outta Golgomath's way, hiding out in caves rount the gully just like we were. So we decided we'd go poking round the caves by night and see if we couldn't persuade a few of them."

"How could you tell which ones they were?" asked Ron.

"You went poking around dark caves looking for giants?" said Ron, with awed respect in his voice.

"Well, it wasn't the giants who worried us most," said Hagrid. "We were more concerned abou" the Death Eaters. Dumbledore had told us before we went not ter tangle with him if we could avoid it, and the trouble was they knew we was around --'spect Golgomath told him abou" us. At night, when the giants were sleeping and we wanted ter be creeping inter the caves, Macnair and the other one were sneaking round the mountains looking fer us. I was hard put to stop Olympe jumping out at him," said Hagrid, the corners of his mouth lifting his wild beard, "she was raring ter attack him… she's something when she's roused, Olympe… fiery, yeh know…'spect it's the French in her…"

"Cave must've been cramped," said Ron.

"So, what happened? Did you ever get near any of the other giants?"

Hagrid gazed misty-eyed into the fire. Harry allowed him thirty seconds of reminiscence before clearing his throat loudly.

"Wasn't room ter swing a Kneazle," said Hagrid.

"What? Oh… oh, yeah, we did. Yeah, on the third night after Karkus was killed we crept outta the cave we'd bin hiding in and headed back down inter the gully, keeping our eyes skinned fer the Death Eaters. Got inside a few of the caves, no go -- then, in abou" the sixth one, we found three giants hiding."

"Probably woulda done if they'd bin in any condition," said Hagrid, "but they was badly hurt, all three of them; Golgomath's lot had beaten him unconscious; they'd woken up and crawled inter the nearest shelter they could find. Anyway, one of them had a bit of English and "e translated fer the others, and what we had ter say didn't seem ter go down too badly. So we kep" going back, visiting the wounded… I reckon we had abou" six or seven of them convinced at one poing."

"Didn't they attack you when they saw you?" asked Hermione.

Hagrid looked at her sadly.

But Hermione said, "What do you mean "at one point", Hagrid?"

"Golgomath's lot raided the caves. The ones tha" survived didn't wan't no more ter to do with us after that."

"So… so there aren't any giants coming?" said Ron, looking disappointed.

Snow was filling up the window now. Harry became aware that the knees of his robes were soaked through: Fang was drooling with his head in Harry's lap.

"Six or seven?" said Ron eagerly. "Well that's not bad -- are they going to come over here and start fighting You-Know-Who with us?"

"Hagrid?" said Hermione quietly after a while.

"Nope," said Hagrid, heaving a deep sigh as he turned over his steak and applied the cooler side to his face, "but we did wha" we meant ter do, we gave him Dumbledore's message and some of them heard it and I spect some of them'll remember it. Just maybe, them that don't want ter stay around Golgomath'll move outta the mountains, and there's gotta be a chance they'll remember Dumbledore's friendly to him… could be they'll come."

"Oh… I'm… I'm really sorry," said Hermione in a very small voice. Hagrid shrugged his massive shoulders.

They were silent again. Hermione glanced nervously at Harry and Ron, plainly wanting them to speak.

"Mmm?"

"I'm sorry… I… forget it --"

But the rest of his words were drowned in a sudden outbreak of rapping on the door. Hermione gasped; her mug slipped through her fingers and smashed on the floor; Fang yelped. All four of them stared at the window beside the doorway. The shadow of somebody small and squat rippled across the thin curtain.

"Dead," Hagrid grunted. "Died years ago. They told me."

"Or why you're back so late," said Harry. "Sirius says Madame Maxime got back ages ago --"

"Did you… was there any sign of… did you hear anything about your… your… mother while you were there?"

"But you still haven't explained how you got in this state, Hagrid," Ron said, gesturing towards Hagrid's bloodstained face.

Hagrids unobscured eye rested upon her and Hermione looked rather scared.

"Who attacked you?" said Ron.

"I haven't bin attacked!" said Hagrid emphatically. "I --"

"No need," he said shortly. "Can't remember her much. Wasn't a great mother."

"Get under here!" Harry said quickly, seizing the Invisibility Cloak, he whirled it over himself and Hermione while Ron tore around the table and dived under the Cloak as well. Huddled together, they backed away into a corner. Fang was barking madly at the door. Hagrid looked thoroughly confused.

Hagrid seized Harry and Ron's mugs and shoved them under the cushion in Fang's basket. Fang was now leaping up at the door; Hagrid pushed him out of the way with his foot and pulled it open.

"So," she said slowly and loudly, as though speaking to somebody deaf. "You're Hagrid, are you?"

"Hagrid, hide our mugs!"

"It's her!" Ron whispered.

Professor Umbridge was standing in the doorway wearing her green tweed cloak and a matching hat with earflaps. Lips pursed, she leaned back so as to see Hagrid's face; she barely reached his navel.

Without waiting for an answer she strolled into the room, her bulging eyes rolling in every direction.

"Get away," she snapped, waving her handbag at Fang, who had bounded up to her and was attempting to lick her face.

"Er -- I don't want ter be rude," said Hagrid, staring at her, "but who the ruddy hell are you?"

"Dolores Umbridge?" Hagrid said, sounding thoroughly confused. "I thought you were one of them Ministry -- don't you work with Fudge?"

Her eyes were sweeping the cabin. Twice they stared directly into the corner where Harry stood, sandwiched between Ron and Hermione.

"-- and Hogwarts High Inquisitor," said Umbridge, giving no sign that she had heard him.

"Tha's brave of yeh," said Hagrid, "there's not many'd take tha" job any more."

"I was Senior Undersecretary to the Minister, yes," said Umbridge, now pacing around the cabin, taking in every tiny detail within, from the haversack against the wall to the abandoned travelling cloak. "I am now the Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher --"

"My name is Dolores Umbridge."

"Wha's that?" said Hagrid, frowning.

"Oh," said Hagrid, with a most unhelpful glance towards the corner where Harry, Ron and Hermione stood hidden, "oh, tha" was… was Fang. He broke a mug. So I had ter use this one instead."

"Precisely what I was going to ask," said Umbridge, pointing at the broken shards of china on the floor that had been Hermione's mug.

Hagrid pointed to the mug from which he had been drinking, one hand still clamped over the dragon steak pressed to his eye. Umbridge stood facing him now, taking in every detail of his appearance instead of the cabins.

"I heard voices," she said quietly.

"I was talking ter Fang," said Hagrid stoutly.

"And was he talking back to you?"

Hermione gasped; Harry clapped a hand over her mouth. Luckily, Fang was sniffing loudly around the hem of Professor Umbridge's robes and she did not appear to have heard.

"Well… in a manner of speaking," said Hagrid, looking uncomfortable. "I sometimes say Fang's near enough human --"

"There are three sets of footprints in the snow leading from the castle doors to your cabin," said Umbridge sleekly.

"There are no footsteps leading away from your cabin door."

"Well, I… I don't know why that'd be…" said Hagrid, tugging nervously at his beard and again glancing towards the corner where Harry, Ron and Hermione stood, as though asking for help. "Erm…"

"Well, I on'y just got back," said Hagrid, waving an enormous hand at the haversack. "Maybe someone came ter call earlier and I missed him."

Umbridge wheeled round and strode the length of the cabin, looking around carefully. She bent and peered under the bed. She opened Hagrid's cupboards. She passed within two inches of where Harry, Ron and Hermione stood pressed against the wall; Harry actually pulled in his stomach as she walked by. After looking carefully inside the enormous cauldron Hagrid used for cooking, she wheeled round again and said, "What has happened to you? How did you sustain those injuries?"

Hagrid hastily removed the dragon steak from his face, which in Harry's opinion was a mistake, because the black and purple bruising all around his eye was now clearly visible, not to mention the large amount of fresh and congealed blood on his face. "Oh, I… had a bit of an accident," he said lamely.

"I -- I tripped."

"What sort of accident?"

"You tripped," she repeated coolly.

"Yeah, tha's right. Over… over a friends broomstick. I don't fly, meself. Well, look at the size of me, I don't reckon there's a broomstick that'd hold me. Friend of mine breeds Abraxan horses, I dunno if you ve ever seen em, big beasts, winged, yer know, I've had a bit of a ride on one of them and it was --"

"For your health," repeated Professor Umbridge. Her eyes travelled over Hagrid's discoloured and swollen face; dragon blood dripped gently and silently on to his waistcoat. "I see."

"Mountain scenery?" said Umbridge swiftly.

There was a pause in which Hagrid stared at her with his newly uncovered eye. Harry could almost hear his brain working furiously.

"Where've I --?"

"Well -- change of scene, yeh know --"

"I -- I've been away for me health," he said.

"Yes, as gamekeeper fresh air must be so difficult to come by" said Umbridge sweetly. The small patch of Hagrid's face that was not black or purple, flushed.

She knows, Harry thought desperately.

"Been, yes," she said. "Term started two months ago. Another teacher has had to cover your classes. None of your colleagues has been able to give me any information as to your whereabouts. You left no address. Where have you been?"

"Yeah," said Hagrid, "bit o'-- of fresh air, yeh know --"

"Where have you been?" asked Umbridge, cutting coolly through Hagrid's babbling.

"Righ'," said Hagrid, nodding.

"Mountains?" Hagrid repeated, clearly thinking fast. "Nope, South of France fer me. Bit of sun an"… and sea."

"Really?" said Umbridge. "You don't have much of a tan."

"You ought to know, too, that as High Inquisitor it is my unfortunate but necessary duty to inspect my fellow teachers. So I daresay we shall meet again soon enough."

"Yeah… well… sensitive skin," said Hagrid, attempting an ingratiating smile. Harry noticed that two of his teeth had been knocked out. Umbridge looked at him coldly; his smile faltered. Then she hoisted her handbag a little higher into the crook of her arm and said, "I shall, of course, be informing the Minister of your late return."

"Oh, yes," said Umbridge softly, looking back at him with her hand on the door handle. "The Ministry is determined to weed out unsatisfactory teachers, Hagrid. Goodnight."

"You're inspecting us?" Hagrid repeated blankly, looking after her.

She left, closing the door behind her with a snap. Harry made to pull off the Invisibility Cloak but Hermione seized his wrist.

She turned sharply and marched back to the door.

Hagrid seemed to be thinking the same way; he stumped across the room and pulled back the curtain an inch or so.

"She's going back ter the castle," he said in a low voice. "Blimey… inspecting people, is she?"

"Not yet," she breathed in his ear. "She might not be gone yet."

"Yeah," said Harry, pulling off the Cloak. "Trelawney's on probation already…"

"Oh, don't you worry abou" that, I've got a great load of lessons planned," said Hagrid enthusiastically, scooping up his dragon steak from the table and slapping it over his eye again. "I've bin keeping a couple of creatures saved fer yer OWL year; you wait, they're something really special."

"Um… what sort of thing are you planning to do with us in class, Hagrid?" asked Hermione.

"I'm not saying," said Hagrid happily. "I don't want ter spoil the surprise."

"Erm… special in what way?" asked Hermione tentatively.

"Look, Hagrid," said Hermione urgently, dropping all pretence, "Professor Umbridge won't be at all happy if you bring anything to class that's too dangerous."

"But tha's not very interesting, Hermione," said Hagrid. "The stuff I've got's much more impressive. I've bin bringing him on fer years, I reckon I've got the on'y domestic herd in Britain."

"Hagrid… please…" said Hermione, a note of real desperation in her voice. "Umbridge is looking for any excuse to get rid of teachers she thinks are too close to Dumbledore. Please, Hagrid, teach us something dull that's bound to come up in our OWL."

"Dangerous?" said Hagrid, looking genially bemused. "don't be silly, I wouldn't give yeh anything dangerous! I mean, all righ', they can look after themselves --"

But Hagrid merely yawned widely and cast a one-eyed look of longing towards the vast bed in the corner.

"Hagrid, you've got to pass Umbridge's inspection, and to do that it would really be better if she saw you teaching us how to look after Porlocks, how to tell the difference between Knarls and hedgehogs, stuff like that!" said Hermione earnestly.

"Lis'en, it's bin a long day and it's late," he said, patting Hermione gently on the shoulder, so that her knees gave way and hit the floor with a thud. "Oh -- sorry --" He pulled her back up by the neck of her robes. "Look, don't you go worrying abou" me, I promise yeh I've got really good stuff planned fer yer lessons now I'm back… now you lot had better get back up to the castle, and don't forget ter wipe yer tootprints out behind yeh!"

"Then I'll go back again tomorrow," said Hermione determinedly. "I'll plan his lessons for him if I have to. I don't care if she throws out Trelawney but she's not getting rid of Hagrid!"

"I dunno if you got through to him," said Ron a short while later when, having checked that the coast was clear, they walked back up to the castle through the thickening snow, leaving no trace behind them due to the Obliteration Charm Hermione was performing as they went.