"Oh Ratty!" cried Toad. "I've done so many wonderful things since I last saw you! The dangers that I've been in! I was put in prison-escaped, of course! Pushed into a canal-swam safely away! Stole a horse -- sold it for a lot of money! Oh, I am a clever Toad, and --"

"Toad," said the Water Rat, very seriously, "stop boasting! Go, upstairs at once, wash yourself, and put on some of my clothes. I've never seen anything as wet and dirty as you are."

Toad went upstairs a little crossly, but he was pleased to get out of the washerwoman's dress. He came down very clean and tidy, and ready to tell the Rat all about his adventures -- how clever, how brave, how successful he had been. The Rat gave him lunch, and listened, unsmiling, while Toad talked and talked and talked. When at last he finished, the Rat looked up.

"I have to tell you, Toad," he said slowly, "that I feel ashamed -- yes, ashamed, to have a criminal, an escaped prisoner, for my friend. Can't you see that none of this is exciting or amusing?"

The Rat got hold of Toad's neck, pulled him out of the water, and took him into his hall.

"Walk down to Toad Hall?" cried the Rat. "What are you talking about? Haven't you heard?"

"Heard what?" said Toad, looking frightened. "Quick, Ratty, tell me! What haven't I heard?"

"About the Wild Wooders!" cried the Rat. "The Stoats and the Weasels and the Ferrets -- they've taken Toad Hall! When you were sent to prison, they came out of the Wild Wood one dark night and broke into the Hall. They've been living there ever since -- eating your food, drinking your drink, giving wild parties. They've got guns and knives and sticks, and they keep guards round the house night and day. They say they're going to stay there for ever."

At first Toad couldn't believe it. But he had gone up to Toad Hall, and two ferrets in the garden had laughed at him, and the stoats who were guarding the walls had shot at him. Toad dropped flat in the road and the bullet passed over his head. He went back, very unhappy, to the Water Rat.

There was a little silence. Then Toad said sadly, "You're right, Ratty. Of course you are. How silly and boastful I have been! I shall become a quiet, sensible Toad from now on. In a while I'll walk down to Toad Hall and --"

But the Mole was very pleased to see him. "Here's old Toad!" he cried. "How did you manage to escape from prison? It was very clever of you to do that."

"Toad, do he quiet, please!" said the Rat. "We need to discuss plans. I think I know the best way for Toad to --"

That night there was a meeting in the Rat's house. The Mole and the Badger came, to talk about plans to take back Toad Hall from the Wild Wooders.

"No, you don't!" said the Mole. "I know what Toad should do. He should --"

"Clever?" said Toad. "Well, I don't want to boast, Mole. I'll tell you all about it and you can decide if --"

When they came in and saw Toad, the Badger shook his head sadly. "Poor Toad! This is not a happy home-coming for you."

"Well, I'm not going to!" cried Toad, getting excited. "I'm not taking orders from you fellows! It's my house that we're talking about and --"

By now they were almost shouting at each other, when suddenly a deep low voice came from an armchair.

"Be quiet at once, all of you!" said the Badger. "And listen. The Mole and I have been watching Toad Hall. The stoats, with their guns, are on guard all round the walls, and they're very good guards too. We can't attack the place from outside. They're too strong for us."

"There -- is -- an -- underground -- tunnel," said the Badger slowly, "which goes from the river bank near here, right up into the middle of Toad Hall."

"Cheer up, Toady," said the Badger, "because now I'm going to tell you a very great secret."

"Then there's no hope," cried Toad miserably. "I shall go and join the army or something, and never see my dear Toad Hall again!"

Toad sat up, interested. He loved secrets, although he could never keep them.

"Don't be silly, Badger!" cried Toad. "Of course there isn't! I know Toad Hall, inside and outside, and --"

"I asked Otter," continued the Badger, "to do some spy work for us. He pretended to be a gardener and went to the back door of the Hall, asking for work. During the conversation he learnt that tomorrow night there will be a big birthday party -- the Chief Weasel's, I think -- in the dining-hall. All the weasels will be there, eating and drinking and laughing, and making a lot of noise."

"My young friend," said the Badger calmly, "your father -- who was a great friend of mine -- told me many things that he didn't tell you. 'Don't tell my son about this tunnel,' he said to me. 'He's a good boy, but he talks far too much.'"

Toad opened his mouth to argue, and then decided not to.

"-- run into the dining-hall --" cried the Mole.

"But the stoats will still be on guard on the walls," said the Rat.

"-- and chase them and beat them and hit them!" cried the Toad, greatly excited. He ran round and round the room, jumping over the chairs.

"Very well, then," said the Badger, sitting back comfortably and opening his newspaper. "That is the plan, and there's nothing more for you to argue about."

"-- with our guns and sticks and knives --" shouted the Rat.

"True," agreed the Badger. "But the weasels, you see, know that, so they won't have any guns or sticks with them at the party. And the tunnel comes up into that little room right next to the dining-hall. We only have to --"

All the next day the Rat hurried about, getting the guns and the knives and the sticks ready. Once the Badger lifted his head from the newspaper. "We shan't need guns or knives, Ratty," he said. "We four, with our sticks, will clear the dining-hall in five minutes. I could do it by myself."

"Better to be safe than sorry," said the Rat.

At last the evening came, and the four friends went quietly along the river bank to find the entrance to the secret tunnel. Toad, of course, managed to fall in the river and his friends had to pull him out. The tunnel was cold, and wet, and dark, and narrow. Poor Toad got frightened and ran into the Rat by mistake, who then nearly knocked the Mole over. All this made a lot of noise, and the Badger, who was in front with the lantern, turned round.

"If Toad can't keep quiet," he whispered angrily, "I'll leave him here alone in the dark!"

They could hear the noise of the party while they were still underground. Silently, they pushed open the door in the roof of the tunnel, and climbed up into the small room next to the dining-hall. Now they could hear one of the weasels singing a very rude song about Toad the car-thief.

After that, the Toad kept very quiet.

"Just wait until I get my hands on him!" Toad whispered angrily, showing his teeth.

"Right, boys!" said the Badger, looking round at his friends. "The hour has come! Follow me!"

What a battle it was! How the four friends roared as they ran through the hall! What screams of fear came from the surprised weasels and ferrets! Tables and chairs were knocked over, plates and glasses went crashing to the floor. Up and down went the four friends, shouting and roaring, and their sticks whistled through the air. There were only four of them, but they seemed enormous to the weasels and the ferrets. The Wild Wooders ran in terror, escaping through the doors and windows, and even up the chimneys -- anywhere to get away from those terrible sticks.

And they crashed through the door into the dining-hall.

In five minutes the room was cleared. The stoats outside, the four friends discovered later, had gone too. They were already frightened by the noise of battle from the hall, so when the weasels and the ferrets started running out in terror, the stoats dropped their guns and ran back to the Wild Wood. In fact, after that night there was no more trouble from the Wild Wooders for a long time. And when any of them met the Badger and his friends out for a walk, they were very polite indeed.

Back in Toad Hall, there was a lot of tidying up to do after the battle. At last it was all done, and the four friends, tired but happy, went upstairs to bed.

"And now," said the Badger, after breakfast the next morning, "we must have a Victory Party. Toad, you must write and invite all our friends for tonight."

"Come on now, Toad," said the Badger kindly. "You know that you have to change your ways and become a sensible animal. Why not begin now? What better moment could there be, on your return to Toad Hall?"

"Not just one little song?" asked Toad miserably.

Toad looked at his three friends' serious faces. For a long while he seemed to be thinking deeply. At last he spoke. "My friends, you are right," he said sadly. "And I am wrong. From today, I will be a very different Toad. You will never be ashamed of me again."

"What -- me do all the work?" said Toad crossly, "Why…" He suddenly stopped, then said, "Yes, of course. I'll do everything. I'll plan the party, and the singing and --"

"No, Toady. You know very well that your songs are all about you and how clever you are. They're just one long boast!"

"Oh no," said the Rat, "You're not going to sing any of your songs."

His three friends watched him with their mouths open in surprise -- which pleased Toad very much. Towards the end of the evening, some of the younger animals started banging on the table and shouting, "Toad! Song! Mr Toad's Song!" But Toad only shook his head gently, and immediately began a quiet conversation with Otter, asking in an interested voice about his children.

The party was a great success. Everyone wanted to hear about the battle, and there was a lot of noisy talking and laughing. But Toad was not at all noisy. He moved quietly round the room, making sure that everyone had enough to eat and drink. He said very little about the battle, only, "Oh, it was Badger's clever plan. And the Mole and the Rat did all the hard fighting."

He was indeed a different Toad!