RON enters on a staircase, his side parting now super-aggressive, his robes just a little bit too short, his clothes now spectacularly staid.

RON: "Jokes? I don't know any jokes."

ALBUS: "I will -- and this time I'll make sure Ron can't find us."

ALBUS: "Of course you do. You run a joke shop."

HARRY: "No. You won't."

RON frowns, confused.

ALBUS pursues HARRY across the stage.

ALBUS: "I'll run away again."

ALBUS: "What if I run? I'll run."

RON: "Do I hear my name?"

HARRY: "Albus, get back in bed."

ALBUS: "Uncle Ron! Thank Dumbledore. If ever we needed one of your jokes it's now…"

RON (now supremely confused): "A joke shop? Well now. Anyway I'm pleased I caught you. I was going to bring some sweets -- for a, uh, sort of, a, get well soon, but, uh… Actually Padma -- she thinks about things a lot more -- deeply -- than I do -- and she thought it'd be nicer for you to get something useful for school. So we got you a -- set of quills. Yes. Yes. Yes. Look at these bad boys. Top of the range."

ALBUS: "Who's Padma?"

ALBUS: "I have an Aunt Padma?"

HARRY: "Your aunt."

Beat. RON doesn't understand this at all.

ALBUS: "But how did I get sorted into Gryffindor?"

RON: "You persuaded the Sorting Hat, don't you remember? Panju bet you that you couldn't get into Gryffindor if your life depended on it, so you chose Gryffindor to spite him. I can't blame you," (dry) "we'd all like to wipe the smile off his face sometimes, wouldn't we?" (Terrified.) "Please don't tell Padma I said that."

RON: "Hermione. No. Nooooo. Merlin's beard."

HARRY: "Albus has also forgotten that he was sorted into Gryffindor. Conveniently."

ALBUS: "But… you're married to Hermione."

RON (to HARRY): "Taken a Confundus Charm to the head, has he?" (To ALBUS.) "My wife, Padma. You remember. Talks slightly too close to your face, smells a bit minty." (Leans in.) "Padma, mother of Panju!" (To HARRY.) "That's why I'm here, of course. Panju. He's in trouble again. I wanted to just send a Howler but Padma insisted I come in person. I don't know why. He just laughs at me."

RON: "Yes, well, sorry, old chap, but you're a Gryffindor."

HARRY frowns at ALBUS.

SCORPIUS: "You can't what?"

HARRY: "Albus. Whatever gibberish you're talking, you need to stop it, now. This is your final warning."

HARRY: "No, you're the one with the choice, Albus. You do this, or you get in deeper, much deeper trouble -- do you understand?"

SCORPIUS is left looking up after him. Heartbroken.

SCORPIUS: "No… But, Albus --"

HARRY: "Albus, whatever you're feigning, it isn't working. I will not change my mind."

ALBUS: "Dad, you have two choices, either you take me to --"

ALBUS: "Did it work? Did any of it work?"

SCORPIUS: "Albus? You're okay. That's fantastic."

ALBUS: "Who's Panju?"

ALBUS: "But that doesn't… make sense."

He stumbles on, not even an inch of the man he was.

ALBUS stops and turns to SCORPIUS.

ALBUS: "Just -- we'll be better off without each other, okay?"

SCORPIUS: "Are you mad at me? What's going on?"

ALBUS looks torn between his dad and his friend.

RON: "Bloody hell, you're really not yourself, are you? Anyway, better go, before I'm sent a Howler myself."

RON and HARRY stare at ALBUS.

ALBUS: "I can't, okay?"

HARRY: "He's completely cured. And we've got to go."

ALBUS looks up at SCORPIUS and his heart breaks. He walks on.