"Your hair's too long," said the Hatter, looking at Alice with interest.

"Then why did you ask me to have some?" said Alice crossly. "It wasn't very polite of you."

Alice was pleased. She enjoyed playing word games, so she said, "That's an easy question."

"It's not polite to say things like that," said Alice.

"But there are lots of seats," said Alice.

"There isn't any," said the March Hare.

There was a table under a tree outside the house, and the March Hare and the Hatter were having tea. A Dormouse was sitting between them, asleep. The three of them were all sitting together at one corner of the table, but the table was large and there were many other seats. Alice sat down in a big chair at one end.

"It wasn't very polite of you to sit down. We haven't invited you to tea," said the March Hare.

The Hatter looked surprised, but he said, "Why is a bird like a desk?"

"Have some coffee," the March Hare said in a friendly voice.

Alice looked all round the table, but she could only see a teapot. "I don't see any coffee," she said.

Alice did not know what to say to this. So she took some tea and some bread and butter while she thought about it. The Dormouse woke up for a minute and then went to sleep again. After a while the Hatter took out his watch, shook it, then looked at it sadly.

"It was the best butter," said the March Hare sadly.

Alice suddenly understood. "Is that why there are all these cups and plates?" she said. "It's always tea-time here, and you go on moving round the table. Is that right? But what happens when you come to the beginning again?"

"No, it isn't!" said the Hatter. "Listen to this. I see what I eat means one thing, but I eat what I see means something very different."

"I do," Alice said quickly. "Well, I mean what I say. And that's the same thing, you know."

"But we know the time," said the Hatter. "It's always six o'clock here."

"Then you must say what you mean," the March Hare said.

"Yes," said Alice.

"Two days slow! I told you that butter wasn't good for watches!" he said angrily to the March Hare.

Alice was looking at the watch with interest. "It's a strange watch," she said. "It shows the day of the week, but not the time."

"Do you mean you know the answer?" said the March Hare.

"But I don't know any stories," said Alice.

"Yes, please do," said Alice.

Then the March Hare and the Hatter turned to the Dormouse. "Wake up, Dormouse!" they shouted loudly in its ears. "Tell us a story."

The Dormouse woke up and quickly began to tell a story, but a few minutes later it was asleep again. The March Hare poured a little hot tea on its nose, and the Hatter began to look for a clean plate. Alice decided to leave and walked away into the wood. She looked back once, and the March Hare and the Hatter were trying to put the Dormouse into the teapot.

"Don't ask questions," said the March Hare crossly. "You must tell us a story now."

"Well, I won't go there again," said Alice. "What a stupid tea-party it was!" Just then she saw a door in one of the trees. "How curious!" she thought. "But everything is strange today. I think I'll go in."

So she went in. And there she was, back in the long room with the little glass table. At once, she picked up the gold key from the table, unlocked the little door into the garden, and then began to eat a piece of mushroom. When she was down to about thirty centimetres high, she walked through the door, and then, at last, she was in the beautiful garden with its green trees and bright flowers.