Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
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"Why do you sit out here all alone?" said Alice, not wishing to argue.
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"That's a stupid name!" said Humpty Dumpty. "What does it mean?"
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"Must a name mean something?" Alice asked, puzzled.
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"It must be him," she said to herself. "There he is, sitting on a high wall, and he looks just like an egg."
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Couldn't put Humpty together again.
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"My name is Alice --"
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"Of course it must," Humpty Dumpty said with a short laugh. "My name means the shape I am -- and a very good shape it is, too. With a name like yours, you could be almost any shape."
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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall;
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"Don't stand there talking to yourself," said Humpty Dumpty suddenly, opening his eyes. "Tell me your name."
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All the King's horses and all the King's men
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He was sitting very still and seemed to be asleep, so Alice stood and repeated to herself the words of the song:
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But the egg got larger and larger, and more and more like a person. Then Alice saw that it had eyes and a nose and a mouth, and she realized that it was Humpty Dumpty himself.
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"So there's only one day when you can get birthday presents," said Humpty Dumpty, "but three hundred and sixty-four days when you can get unbirthday presents! There's success for you!"
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"And how many birthdays have you?"
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"Three hundred and sixty-five," said Alice.
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Alice thought about this. "I like birthday presents best," she said at last.
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"You don't know what you're talking about!" cried Humpty Dumpty. "How many days are there in a year?"
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"A present when it isn't your birthday, of course."
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Alice tried to think of something intelligent to say, but couldn't. "What a beautiful belt you're wearing!" she said, suddenly noticing it.
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"Because there's nobody with me!" cried Humpty Dumpty. "Did you think I didn't know the answer to that? Come, let'shave some intelligent conversation now."
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"That's better," said Humpty Dumpty, looking pleased. "Yes, it was a present from the White King and Queen. They gave it to me for an unbirthday present."
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Alice looked puzzled. "What is an unbirthday present?"
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"One."
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"And if you take one from three hundred and sixty-five, what is left?"
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"Three hundred and sixty-four, of course."
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"When I use a word," Humpty Dumpty said, looking down his nose at Alice, "it means just what I choose it to mean -- neither more nor less."
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Humpty Dumpty smiled. "Of course you don't -- until I tell you. I meant 'there's a clever idea for you!'"
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"I don't know what you mean by 'success'," Alice said.
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"But can you make words have different meanings?" asked Alice.
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"Words are difficult things, I agree," said Humpty Dumpty. "But you have to be strong with them. Give them orders. Tell them to obey you. They must work hard, and do what they're told!" He banged his hand excitedly on the wall as he spoke.
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"You seem very clever with words, Sir," said Alice politely, hoping to calm him. She was worried about him falling off the wall.
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"But 'success' doesn't mean 'a clever idea'," Alice argued.
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Humpty Dumpty looked pleased. "I can explain most words, and get them to do what I want," he said. "Some of them are like suitcases, you know. They've got several meanings packed up in them. Take poems, for example. One short poem can carry as many meanings as five people's luggage."
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"Well, not just at the moment," Alice said quickly, hoping to stop him from beginning.
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"Somebody repeated a poem to me earlier today," said Alice. "It was Tweedledee, I think."
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In autumn, when the leaves are brown,
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"This piece was written specially for you," Humpty Dumpty went on, not listening to her. "It will amuse you."
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"Thank you very much," said Alice.
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In winter, when the fields are white,
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Perhaps you'll understand the song.
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I'll try and tell you what I mean.
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Take pen and ink and write it down.
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"If you can see me singing or not singing, you've better eyes than most people," said Humpty Dumpty. Alice was silent, and he went on.
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"Oh, I can repeat any number of poems, if you like," said Humpty Dumpty.
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In spring, when woods are getting green,
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"Thank you," said Alice sadly. She could not refuse to listen, she thought, if the poem was specially written for her.
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"But I don't sing it," he explained.
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In summer, when the days are long,
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I sing this song for your delight --
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"Yes, I can see that," Alice said.
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"We cannot do it, Sir, because --"
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I sent a message to the fish;
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Alice waited a minute, but Humpty Dumpty closed his eyes and did not speak again. So she got up, said "goodbye", and quietly walked away.
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"Don't go on saying things," Humpty Dumpty said. "They're not sensible, and I forget where I am."
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"That's all," said Humpty Dumpty. "Goodbye."
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"Is that all?" Alice asked politely.
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The little fishes' answer was
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"I'm afraid I don't understand," said Alice.
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"It gets easier as it goes on," Humpty Dumpty replied.
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"I will, if I can remember it so long," said Alice.
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I told them "This is what I wish."
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But the poem went on for a long time, and Alice thought it got harder, not easier, to understand. Then Humpty Dumpty suddenly stopped, and there was a long silence.
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"What an extraordinary person!" she said to herself as she walked. "I don't think I ever met --" She never finished what she was saying, because at that moment a heavy crash shook the forest from end to end.
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The little fishes of the sea,
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They sent an answer back to me.
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