Mike Teavee was even more excited than Grandpa Joe at seeing a bar of chocolate being sent by television. "But Mr Wonka," he shouted, "can you send other things through the air in the same way? Breakfast cereal, for instance?"

"Of course I could!"

"But could you send it by television if you wanted to, as you do chocolate?" asked Mike Teavee.

"And what about people?" asked Mike Teavee. "Could you send a real live person from one place to another in the same way?"

"A person!" cried Mr Wonka. "Are you off your rocker?"

"Oh, my sainted aunt!" cried Mr Wonka. "Don't mention that disgusting stuff in front of me! Do you know what breakfast cereal is made of? It's made of all those little curly wooden shavings you find in pencil sharpeners!"

"But could it be done?"

But Mike Teavee was already off and running. The moment he heard Mr Wonka saying, "I'm pretty sure it could… of course it could," he turned away and started running as fast as he could towards the other end of the room where the great camera was standing. "Look at me!" he shouted as he ran. "I'm going to be the first person in the world to be sent by television!"

"Good heavens, child, I really don't know… I suppose it could… yes. I'm pretty sure it could… of course it could… I wouldn't like to risk it, though… it might have some very nasty results…"

"See you later, alligator!" he shouted, and he pulled down the switch, and as he did so, he leaped out into the full glare of the mighty lens.

Then there was silence.

"Mike!" screamed Mrs Teavee. "Stop! Come back! You'll be turned into a million tiny pieces!"

"No, no, no, no!" cried Mr Wonka.

But there was no stopping Mike Teavee now. The crazy boy rushed on, and when he reached the enormous camera, he jumped straight for the switch, scattering Oompa-Loompas right and left as he went.

There was a blinding flash.

Mr Wonka hurried forward and placed a hand gently on Mrs Teavee's shoulder. "We shall have to hope for the best," he said. "We must pray that your little boy will come out unharmed at the other end."

"Mike!" screamed Mrs Teavee, clasping her head in her hands. "Where are you?"

Then Mrs Teavee ran forward… but she stopped dead in the middle of the room… and she stood there… she stood staring at the place where her son had been… and her great red mouth opened wide and she screamed, "He's gone! He's gone!"

"Great heavens, he has gone!" shouted Mr Teavee.

"What on earth do you mean?" asked Mr Teavee sharply.

"Don't talk about it!" wailed Mrs Teavee.

"I'll tell you where he is," said Mr Teavee, "he's whizzing around above our heads in a million tiny pieces!"

"Let's hope it's the top half," said Mr Teavee.

"We must watch the television set," said Mr Wonka. "He may come through any moment."

Mr and Mrs Teavee and Grandpa Joe and little Charlie and Mr Wonka all gathered round the television and stared tensely at the screen. The screen was quite blank.

"He's taking a heck of a long time to come across," said Mr Teavee, wiping his brow.

"I don't wish to alarm you," said Mr Wonka, "but it does sometimes happen that only about half the little pieces find their way into the television set. It happened last week. I don't know why, but the result was that only half a bar of chocolate came through."

Mrs Teavee let out a scream of horror. "You mean only a half of Mike is coming back to us?" she cried.

"Oh dear, oh dear," said Mr Wonka, "I do hope that no part of him gets left behind."

"Mike," cried Mrs Teavee, "are you all right? Are there any bits of you missing?"

"Talk to me, Mike!" cried Mrs Teavee. "Say something! Tell me you're all right!"

"Isn't he going to get any bigger?" shouted Mr Teavee.

"I'm not sure," said Mr Wonka. "It's too early to tell."

Faintly at first, but becoming clearer and clearer every second, the picture of Mike Teavee appeared on the screen. He was standing up and waving at the audience and grinning from ear to ear.

"Here he comes!" yelled Mr Wonka. "Yes, that's him all right!"

"Is he all in one piece?" cried Mrs Teavee.

A tiny little voice, no louder than the squeaking of a mouse, came out of the television set. "Hi, Mum!" it said. "Hi, Pop! Look at me! I'm the first person ever to be sent by television!"

Then some wavy lines appeared.

Mr Wonka adjusted one of the knobs and the wavy lines went away.

"But he's a midget!" shouted Mr Teavee.

The screen had suddenly begun to flicker.

"Hold everything!" said Mr Wonka. "Watch the screen! Something's happening!"

And now, very slowly, the screen began to get brighter and brighter.

"Oh, yes I will!" squeaked the tiny voice of Mike Teavee. "I'll still be able to watch television!"

"You call that unharmed?" snapped Mrs Teavee, peering at the little speck of a boy who was now running to and fro across the palm of her hand, waving his pistols in the air.

"Of course he's shrunk," said Mr Wonka. "What did you expect?"

He was certainly not more than an inch tall.

"He won't be able to do anything!" cried Mrs Teavee.

"This is terrible!" wailed Mrs Teavee. "What are we going to do?"

"Grab him!" ordered Mr Wonka. "Quick!"

When he heard this, Mike Teavee flew into a terrible tantrum. He started jumping up and down on the palm of his mother's hand, screaming and yelling and trying to bite her fingers. "I want to watch television!" he squeaked. "I want to watch television! I want to watch television! I want to watch television!"

Mrs Teavee shot out a hand and picked the tiny figure of Mike Teavee out of the screen.

"He's shrunk!" said Mr Teavee.

"Hooray!" cried Mr Wonka. "He's all in one piece! He's completely unharmed!"

And Mr Teavee said, "We can't send him back to school like this! He'll get trodden on! He'll get squashed!"

"Never again!" shouted Mr Teavee. "I'm throwing the television set right out the window the moment we get home. I've had enough of television!"

"Oh, Mr Wonka," wailed Mrs Teavee, "how can we make him grow?"

"Here! Give him to me!" said Mr Teavee, and he took the tiny boy and shoved him into the breast pocket of his jacket and stuffed a handkerchief on top. Squeals and yells came from inside the pocket, and the pocket shook as the furious little prisoner fought to get out.

"Oh, thank you!" said Mrs Teavee.

"Don't mention it, dear lady."

"Well," said Mr Wonka, stroking his beard and gazing thoughtfully at the ceiling, "I must say that's a wee bit tricky. But small boys are extremely springy and elastic. They stretch like mad. So what we'll do, we'll put him in a special machine I have for testing the stretchiness of chewing-gum! Maybe that will bring him back to what he was."

"You mean like chewing-gum?" asked Mr Teavee.

"How far d'you think he'll stretch?" asked Mr Teavee.

"How thin will he be?" asked Mrs Teavee anxiously.

"Exactly."

"Maybe miles," said Mr Wonka. "Who knows? But he's going to be awfully thin. Everything gets thinner when you stretch it."

"I haven't the foggiest idea," said Mr Wonka. "And it doesn't really matter, anyway, because we'll soon fatten him up again. All we'll have to do is give him a triple overdose of my wonderful Supervitamin Chocolate. Supervitamin Chocolate contains huge amounts of vitamin A and vitamin B. It also contains vitamin C, vitamin D, vitamin E, vitamin F, vitamin G, vitamin I, vitamin J, vitamin K, vitamin L, vitamin M, vitamin N, vitamin O, vitamin P, vitamin Q, vitamin R, vitamin T, vitamin U, vitamin V, vitamin W, vitamin X, vitamin Y, and, believe it or not, vitamin Z! The only two vitamins it doesn't have in it are vitamin S, because it makes you sick, and vitamin H, because it makes you grow horns on the top of your head, like a bull. But it does have in it a very small amount of the rarest and most magical vitamin of them all -- vitamin Wonka."

"And what will that do to him?" asked Mr Teavee anxiously.

"It'll make his toes grow out until they're as long as his fingers…"

"Oh, no!" cried Mrs Teavee.

"Don't be silly," said Mr Wonka. "It's most useful. He'll be able to play the piano with his feet."

"There they go again!" said Mr Wonka. "I'm afraid you can't stop them singing."

"No arguments, please!" said Mr Wonka. He turned away and clicked his fingers three times in the air. An Oompa-Loompa appeared immediately and stood beside him. "Follow these orders," said Mr Wonka, handing the Oompa-Loompa a piece of paper on which he had written full instructions. "And you'll find the boy in his father's pocket. Off you go! Good-bye, Mr Teavee! Good-bye, Mrs Teavee! And please don't look so worried! They all come out in the wash, you know; every one of them…"

Little Charlie caught Grandpa Joe's hand, and the two of them stood beside Mr Wonka in the middle of the long bright room, listening to the Oompa-Loompas. And this is what they sang:

At the end of the room, the Oompa-Loompas around the giant camera were already beating their tiny drums and beginning to jog up and down to the rhythm.

"The most important thing we've learned,

Is never, NEVER, NEVER let

"But Mr Wonka…"

So far as children are concerned,

They sit and stare and stare and sit

Or better still, just don't install

In almost every house we've been,

A FANTASY, A FAIRYLAND!

HIS BRAIN BECOMES AS SOFT AS CHEESE!

HE CAN NO LONGER UNDERSTAND

IT MAKES A CHILD SO DULL AND BLIND

To wonder just exactly what

They don't climb out the window sill,

They leave you free to cook the lunch

With all that shocking ghastly junk.

But did you ever stop to think,

IT ROTS THE SENSES IN THE HEAD!

They loll and slop and lounge about,

The idiotic thing at all.

They never fight or kick or punch,

Them near your television set -

Oh yes, we know it keeps them still,

This does to your beloved tot?

IT CLOGS AND CLUTTERS UP THE MIND!

Until they're absolutely drunk

A dozen eyeballs on the floor.)

Until they're hypnotized by it,

We've watched them gaping at the screen.

(Last week in someone's place we saw

And stare until their eyes pop out.

HE CAN NO T THINK -- HE ONLY SEES!

And wash the dishes in the sink -

HIS POWERS OF THINKING RUST AND FREEZE!

IT KILLS IMAGINA TION DEAD!

Books cluttered up the nursery floor!

And pirates wearing purple pants,

What shall we do to entertain

Have you for gotten? Don't you know?

How used they keep themselves contented

TO READ some more. Great Scott! Gadzooks!

We'll answer this by asking you,

We'll say it very loud and slow:

READ and READ,

"What used the darling ones to do?

Our darling children! Please explain!"

One half their lives was reading books!

(It smells so good, what can it be?

And in the bedroom, by the bed,

"All right!" you'll cry. "All right!" you'll say,

"But if we take the set away,

THEY… USED… TO… READ! They"d

The nursery shelves held books galore!

And sailing ships and elephants,

Such wondrous, fine, fantastic tales

More books were waiting to be read!

And cannibals crouching round the pot,

Before this monster was invented?

AND READ and READ, and then proceed

Where smugglers rowed with muffled oars,

And treasure isles, and distant shores

Of dragons, gypsies, queens, and whales

Stirring away at something hot.

You watch the slowly growing joy

Go throw your TV set away,

And Squirrel JVutkin, Pigling Bland,

Just How The Camel Got His Hump,

In that ridiculous machine,

The screams and yells, the bites and kicks,

A lovely bookshelf on the wall.

That fills their hearts. They'll grow so keen

And Mr Toad, and bless my soul,

And Mrs Tiggy-Winkle and -

That, in about a week or two

Ignoring all the dirty looks,

And in its place you can install

And children hitting you with sticks -

Then fill the shelves with lots of books,

That nauseating, foul, unclean.

They'll wonder what they'd ever seen

Good gracious, it's Penelope.)

Fear not, because we promise you

And once they start -- oh boy, oh boy!

Oh, books, what books they used to know,

So please, oh please, we beg, we pray,

They'll now begin to feel the need of having something good to read.

There's Mr Rat and Mr Mole -

And How The Monkey Lost His Rump,

Those children living long ago!

With Mr Tod, the dirty rotter,

The younger ones had Beatrix Potter

Of having nothing else to do,

Repulsive television screen!

Will love you more for what you did.

And later, each and every kid

We very much regret that we

P. S. Regarding Mike Teavee,

If we can get him back his height.

But if we can't -- it serves him right."

Shall simply have to wait and see